I’ve been lurking around a lot of Chinese forums lately (in hopes of getting scans and photos from c74) and I came across this. For those of you who can’t understand English, here’s a translation: however, as this used to be in Chinese, it’s not going to be as funny as the original.
When full metal alchemist meets D.gray-man……
When Edward meets Allen
A：I’m an exorcist.
E：I’m an alchemist
A：I’m 15
E：I’m also 15
A：Oh god————budda————Jesus————I finally met someone of the same age who’s shorter than me————
E（fist+throbbing vein）：hey, who are you calling a minuscule super galactic tiny dot that can’t be seen without a 2 ton microscope??!!
剧务 (dunno how to translate this, just going to treat him as a talk show host)：Hurry up！Keep going！
A：I revived my dad.
E：I revived my mom.
A：I turned my dad into an akuma.
E：I turned my mom into an Homunculi.
A：I’m cursed by demons.
E：I lost my leg!
A：General cross didn’t skimp when it comes to supporting me.
E：Izumi-sensei didn’t skimp when it comes to beating me.
A：I have a friend whom I admire.
E：I have a close friend who shares my spirit.
Host cries：Lenaleei and Winry are so lucky~~~~
A&E：I didn’t say that about HER……
A：I’m talking about Kanda……
E：I’m talking about my brother……
When Roy meets Kanda
S.O.：Why don’t the 2 of you greet each other？
Roy（cold）：En.
（bolts of electricity sprout between and threatened to singe the room）
Host：Be serious！Don’t you want this job anymore？
BOOM————————
A certain person got burned to a crisp and is now pinned to the wall by Mugen……
R：The people who work for me are idiots.
K：The people who work with me are idiots.
R：Lisa is like my pillar.
K：The beansprout is lie my baggage.
R：Lisa loves me and I love her
K：The beansprout loves me, I don’t love him.
观众群情激昂：上坟烧报纸你糊弄鬼呢？ (a baaaad Chinese joke, Just take it as the audience complaining about them messing around)
Mugen is unsheathed，the audience scrambles to get back to their seats.
Everyone: No matter how hard you try to seal our voices, it’s not going to work in the long run!（心声：防民之口，甚于防川！） (again, cultural saying, hard to translate)
R：I’m going to be president
Audience：You just want to enforce the miniskirt law!
K：I will finish my mission.
A：You just want to 推倒 Allen! (that word means kinda to push down, as I find that hard to translate I’ll just leave it as is and let your imagination do the work)
3 seconds of silence…
“Mommie————the room exploded————ack! We’re gonna die!————Allen! Lisa! COME SAVE US————”
When Huges meets Komui
H：The world’s most adorable daughter！
K：The world’s most adorable sister！
（hearts fly out for 30 seconds）
H：Look, here are photos of my daughter！
K：So what, there’s a pictorial of my sister！
（the 2 of them swap pictures)
A：When the hell did the 2 of you take these pictures？
K：I set up cameras everywhere！wahahahahahahaha worship me~~~~~）
H：wait wait wait, you’re a siscon？
K：Hey！You’re a daugh-con!
H：I have to sort a lot of information.
K：I have to work with a lot of data.
H：I work my ass of at my job.
K：I often sleep on mine.
H：I got killed my envy.
K：I got crushed by my files.
H：My death was awful!
K：My life is so tiring!
H：The thing that I’m most worried about is who Elysia is going to marry！
A：Jesus，the 室长 (don’t know how to translate this, too vague)had a sex change，the sun’s rising fro mthe west，the mellius earl’s going to win，the world’s going to end~~
H：You’re in a hurry to get her a groom？
K：Nonsense！I’m never letting Lenalee marry！
H：What kind of a brother are you？
K：滚 (means to roll or to get away, again, too vague for a translation)————————（komui II let out with a giant flying kick）
H（in the ski）：You guys！！！Hurry up already!!!
A dozen state alchemists swarm in：You DARE attack out beloved 休斯准将! (werid word, means general? Kinda?)
After an magnificent explosion，Komui II got turned into scrap metal……
lol
LMAO!!!!
Poor Ed, at least he grows in height eventually.
ZOMG. Kanda or Roy?
Dang.. I both like them. I’m taking Roy over Kanda though… lol. they should do Lavi and Al or something~